Social Pleasures

At first regulating sugar to every 3-4 days was going great.  I was simply grateful to have it again.  Period.  And then vacation came.  And, I was careful to stop myself when I was nearing too much and only had it when out of the house.  However, the trouble began after.  I kept reaching for sugar.  Justifying my reaches.  The consequence was weeks of feeling like crap again.  I was tired.  I was constantly distracted by anything and everything.  Needless to say, I started to grow frustrated at the things I knew I should be doing but could not find the energy or focus for.  I wasn't able to spend time writing.  My devotions were suffering. I was getting through fewer and fewer books.  Letters and emails fell through.  After a month I finally found the courage within me somewhere to stop, accepting the truth that too much sugar is often a catalyst for regret and iniquity.  It's not worth the cost; but alas, it is so easy to reach for.  So easy to apply false excuses to.

I prayed for wisdom, and basically the contents of Matthew 5:30 revealed to me that I need to keep sugar out of the house and not have it at work either (unless there is a special occasion).  And then if I go to friend's house who is offering some sort of sugar substance, fine -- as long as I am keeping to the prescribed intake of once every 3-4 days.  If I want ice cream, JP Licks and Coldstone are very close.  I can save the cool coffees for times I am out with friends.  Potlucks, great!  The rare restaurant outing, fantastic!  But on a day to day basis, the answer is no.  No more sugar.  I know I can live without it.  I've done it for over seven months.  Sugar is now a social thing -- like alcohol once was. (Plus the less I have on my own will, the more I can have when socializing!)  I don't need it, but it's nice to have once in a while -- especially when it breaks the food barrier of isolation I know so very well.

Now that I'm past the sugar withdrawal -- intense cravings, headaches, etc. -- I feel great!  I'm clean!  And it's actually a lot easier to say no.  You don't really crave it very much once it's completely out of the system.  However, with it being Thanksgiving, my birthday, Christmas and all those activities in between coming up, it's going to be interesting juggling my sugar intake - especially on the weeks with 3+ events that involve food. Kind of regretting the two cartons of ice cream in my freezer...they may have to stay in there for a while.  The great thing about the freezer, though, is that if I do have sugar and I can freeze it, I can't use the excuse oh, it will go bad so I need to eat it now and I won't see it all the time as a reminder of eat me, I taste so amazing.  No, keep eating me; you know you want more of me. Hey look, I've moved myself closer to you.

This week I decided to deep clean my room and I found a note I wrote when I first had to give up sugar pretty much cold turkey (as well as natural sugars and was only allowed 2 pieces of fruit per day max).  I said I was feeling so much better now that my body was being cleansed from sugar.  But I found myself staring at sugar-containing products, from cookies to sauces and salsas.  I was hoping the allergy test was wrong about sugar -- though it was the most accurate one.  I tried sugar again and needless to say, it was not fun.  After one gram I had to fight to stay awake and be functional.  My only fix was a dosage of Benedryl -- not a cure-all, but a big help.  I wanted sugar so bad I contemplated putting up with exhaustion, headaches, and fragmented thought processes again.  It's hard to believe how food is a such a stronghold...  It's wonderful to not be controlled by it any more!

Go forth in determination!

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." - 1 Cor 10:13