Therapy Help

I need your help with vision therapy!

I was in a bike accident this past January, as many of you know, and I am still recovering.

I took a corner too fast and basically landed on my left arm, shoulder, and head/helmet. My shoulder has long since healed, yet my head/vision has not. It was an accident that I should not have been able to walk away from -- my eye doctor said I am lucky that I only got away with double vision and my physical therapist looked at me several times in disbelief asking me, "how did you not break anything?" It was also a miracle no one was behind me, as it happened at a busy intersection.

Since the accident, I constantly either see double or suppress one eye -- the danger in this is that my brain ignores one eye which can lead to other vision problems. Both of these mean a lot of headaches, eye fatigue, that I often cannot read for long periods of time, and I can't get back on my bike since my balance is off and sometimes my vision jumps. (All of my food allergies came back as a result of the bodily stress, but I am finally able to tolerate a little bit.)

Vision therapy (VT) is $105/session which is every week and my expected recovery time is anywhere between 6 months to one year (I also have 20 minutes of daily homework). I have already undergone 3 weeks of therapy. In this time my headaches have gone down (I've actually been able to make it 68 hours without headache medicine), and I was able to focus a short distance for five seconds one day and one minute the next day. A full minute of both eyes working together to form one image may not sound like a long time, but this was one minute longer than I have ever done in the past 6 months!

VT is not covered by insurance and the VT office currently does not have any scholarships available. I am setting a goal for $2600, which will cover 6 months of therapy (and the 5% gofundme takes out for their services). As a humble children's bookseller I am already on a tight budget and am still paying off my MRI bill (my eye doctor and neuro-ophthalmologist were concerned about possible brain bleeding for a while). Without this therapy my eyes may not relearn how to focus (and glasses wont help the cause). Can you please help me out by contributing financially? Any amount helps!

 

DONATE HERE: http://www.gofundme.com/3kfgvs

Please let me know if you have any questions. Feel free to pass this along!

Thank you and God bless,
Emily

Healing is not the end

What did I have today? Cheddar! Melted on a panini grill, in-between a brown rice tortilla and kale. It was awesome. 

Yes, dairy is back in my life! After nearly four months of complete restriction my body can tolerate it again. What other food may be just on the horizon? I used to react slightly to cross-contamination amounts of wheat (for you non-allergy readers, this basically means a very small amount). That appears to be no more! I will challenge wheat probably in a week or so, after I see how much dairy I can handle and what my intake level should be. Oh, and my chocolate intake has gone from once a month to twice a month.  I love healing! These are very recent and positive changes. However, change throughout the past few months often brought negative changes to my health. 

The biggest change since my last entry was soy -- turns out that was the culprit behind sudden internal swelling, intense cramps, and near hemorrhaging amounts of menstrual blood loss.  Yeah, soy is not only an allergy/sensitivity for me, but it in fact completely screws up hormones and other bodily stuff.  I didn't like soy before, but now I think it as a greater evil.  It wasn't a huge switch taking it out of my diet, but certainly will be as my diet changes and I can incorporate more food back in. Soy is practically in everything semi-processed or commercial!  But, enough of that peril, let's go back to the healing.

What was the switch? Medically the integration of vitamin B12 (which was quite deficient within me) and the removal of a pharmaceutical that was used to help with my headaches and migraines -- mainly from the post concussion and the continued double vision -- could answer this sudden upswing in healing.  Amazing, eh? However, I do believe there is another important factor while working toward healing: pray to Jesus Christ. 

Don't roll your eyes, I do not mean one prayer and everything is all better. It doesn't always work that way. I've prayed for months and others have prayed over me for months and physical healing was slow in progression. Yet, even when it seemed every other week shot a new arrow -- leading to discouragement, depression, fear, and pain -- it was prayer that brought me toward peace, endurance, thankfulness. Supplements can't do that. Too often we think of healing as working toward a state of being pain free, but there is a lot to be said for the journey to that place. It's what you do with yourself and what you learn that makes a difference. It's what you find yourself worshiping or running toward (or from).

I haven't really come up with new recipes lately, just modifying:

Blueberry cereal from a modified granola recipe in 1,000 Gluten Free Recipes

Snicker doodle cookies in 1,000 Gluten Free Recipes

Cupcakes from Baking with Agave Nectar

Allergy cooking isn't limited, it's just learning how to use a different palate of ingredients.  All of the above are free of that white sugar stuff and the top 8 allergens.

Improvisational Awesomeness

I've been experimenting around the last month with various foods and have comprised a variety of things to keep working with as I create and alter recipes as usual.

The first is date paste. Date paste stands in as a natural sweetener (like agave, maple syrup, and honey) and apparently is rich in a wide array of vitamins and is anti-inflammatory. As a stand in for brown sugar, it worked great in an altered brownie recipe from Easy Gluten-Free Baking.  To make date paste, you pit 1 cup of dates and combine with 1 cup hot water.  Mix in blender until pureed -- this will take at least one minute.  It will keep in the fridge for a few weeks.  The brownies held together; and, my experience with brownies on my diet is that they are too crumbly and not moist enough.  This is no longer the case!  Do these properties of date paste hold up for bread and cake?  I don't know.  But I am definitely going to play around with it more. I was originally hoping date paste would hold my granola bars together, but alas, I still have to work on that as they still crumble.  Date paste is also a key ingredient in a dairy free homemade coffee creamer I've come to use a lot.

I have been trying to find a sugar free chocolate chip (or recipe) ever since Sunspire discontinued their grain-sweetened ones.  Alas, I have had no luck yet.  People often suggest cocoa nibs, which aren't the same -- mainly due to their lack of sweetness.  I did try coating the nibs in maple syrup before making chocolate chip cookies and even though it was not a replicated taste of chocolate chips, it was pretty good.  By the way, the dough in Fruit-Sweet and Sugar-Free has the consistency of Chips Ahoy -- it's awesome.

 

 

This pesto was amazing.  Instead of using Parmesan I used goat cheese (many dairy allergic folks can tolerate this in moderation). I also sauted some chicken before adding the sauce, and mixed in cooked gluten free pasta.  Total success.  I'm thinking of using turkey instead of chicken next time, just to mix it up.

 

 

There is a restaurant in Oregon that had these amazing apple pancake topping years ago.  I had been really wanting them, so I replicated the recipe as best as a could -- taking the tastes from memory.  Here it is, Maple-Apple Sauce Topping:

-Core some apples (how many apples you ask?  However many you want!).

-Cut up into bite size chunks.

-Place some coconut oil in frying pan (maybe...a couple tablespoons or so) on medium high heat.

-Once oil has melted, place apple chunks in pan.

-Douse in maple sugar and cinnamon (taste to liking).

-Pour pure maple syrup in (enough to cover bottom of pan) and make sure everything is coated evenly. 

-Place lid on pan, stir occasionally.

-Roughly ten minutes later apples should be soft and about half of the syrup will be absorbed (don't let them get soggy).

-So now, there are two choices: pour in organic unsweetened applesauce or use an immersion blender to blend half of the apples.  Blend/stir to desired chunkiness.

-Top with more maple sugar (it gives it a little more zest)

-Serve over pancakes, waffles, french toast, etc.  And now that I think about it, a GF graham cracker crumble would really highlight the experience.

I've also been experimenting with salads because I need a more steady diet of greens, but need them in meals.  I mean, salad greens by themselves are not filling, nor are kale chips.  At the store I just pick and choose two salad packs, because really I have no idea and have so far all kinds have been good for my liking.  I often end up with spinach in one because I like it and it has proven its worth to me (I'll spare you the graphic details for that one).  The real fun is in various combinations of other stuff: sliced avocado, radishes, pear, apples, strawberry and blueberries, chicken or turkey or salmon covered in a spice, cucumber, carrots, or quinoa.  Endless possibilities here!

Now, we move on to salad dressing.  Honestly, I used to hate salad dressing.  Why sogg-ify what is supposed to be crunchy?  But now, I often put a combination of olive oil, flax oil, apple cider vinegar, lemon juice, and crushed garlic because they are all good oils that dramatically effect the health of my gut.  And I've actually have grown to like the taste.  I don't think this combination exists on the market and it's so much cheaper to keep a fresh jar of my own likings in the fridge anyways. 

Cooking is wandering through flavors and combinations. So, in the words of Tolkien, "not all those who wander are lost."  Yeah, some creations don't turn out and there have been epic failures, but there are so many more keepers. Recipes are just guides, but ultimately you are the one in control of what and how you eat.

For all you improv cooks, you've got to check out the Flavor Thesaurus.  It's not exhaustive, but it pairs different foods together and it is a great tool for experimenting.  (This is where I got the idea to marinade a turkey breast in olive oil and dill to highlight the cucumbers in a salad.)

And, for your entertainment, here is an awesome food allergy parody: One Grain More

The Answer is in the Coconut!

People often ask me how I survive with so many restrictions.  My answer is that there are still a lot of foods left to eat but you have to be open to new flavors, be creative, make it fun, and play around with it.  You also have to make time -- buying processed food is not an option here.  And, in the words of Flying Apron, "It's not about what you can't eat."

Yes, my grocery bill is on the higher end for a single person, but personally I would rather spend money on food over stuff -- unless it's a new kitchen toy…mmm, Vitamix Blender, Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer, dehydrator…oh wait, budget…new cookie scoops and large glass storage jars…maybe.  Anyways, over this past week I have been experimenting with different kinds of milk alternatives in light of my dairy allergy returning.  (Last time my sugar intolerance and dairy allergy did not overlap, so some aspects of it are of new territory.)  Unfortunately I can't do almond milk due to my nut allergy coming back.  Soy milk I won't use if I can help it.  Hemp milk was good, but still really thin -- like rice milk, of which I have unaffectionally deemed as flavored water -- and not really a good match for me.  Somewhere I read that silken tofu works as creamer so I was interested since I always drink my coffee with cream or milk.  Do not try this!  For one, the flavor of the coffee wasn't transformed into awesomeness and when I accidentally spilled it, little white curd things splattered all over the porch -- they reminded me of that puss when you have strep throat :-& .  Nasty and so never doing that again -- and not just because it was soy.  But then I found the chosen one!

Because I favored whole milk I needed something with a thicker texture and coconut milk was suggested.  I used to be hesitant because I tried it by itself once several years ago and it was so disgusting.  I could not bring myself to go beyond two small sips.  It was that bad.  Maybe it was that one kind, who knows, but I tried it straight this week and it's not bad.  And for cooking, it has been awesome!  My first test was with smoothies.  All the other milk alternatives failed to give the right consistency.  Just to give you a picture of the desired consistency, I used to use whole milk and yogurt and a banana as a base thickener and add the desired berries/fruit and supplements.  I tried hemp milk and silken tofu, but it was too runny and the flavor was not right.  Yet, when I used the coconut milk the texture was really thick and smooth. So now my base is unsweetened coconut milk and a banana (the banana helps make it thicker).  The smoothie mixture that is my favorite so far is half mango (which may be acting as a thickener), half raspberries, one banana, about a tablespoon of chia seeds (to balance my blood sugar and for other health benefits), a splash of lemon juice, along with coconut milk filling up the space in the blender.  (I never measure for smoothies, I just dump it all in.)

I continued on in my journey to make chocolate sauce (basically my version of Hershey syrup), which was: 2/3c unsweetened cocoa, 3/4c pure maple syrup, 3/4c whole milk.  Whisk all ingredients together before heating up on stove.  Place on high, bring to a full boil for one minute.  Stir!  Stir!  Stir with a wooden spoon!  You do not want burned chocolate pieces in your mix.  When done, stir 1 teaspoon of vanilla.  Pour immediately into storage bottle of choice (I always use glass because I do not trust any form of plastic with high heat).  Let it cool completely before capping and refrigerating.

I did a straight exchange in the milk amount. The sauce worked great at first.  The only difference was that it tasted more like dark chocolate due to the fact that coconut milk is not as sweet.  I made chocolate coconut milk with it (you know, chocolate syrup and coconut milk mixed together) and even though it wasn't the same as traditional chocolate milk, it was good. The next evening I pulled it out of the fridge and turned the bottle upside down to find that the mixture had become super thick!  I used one of my long, small spatulas to stir it up and realized it had the consistency of pudding.  This was awesome because I've been trying to figure out a sugar free pudding for over a year and have not had a success.  The answer, you guessed it, is in the coconut milk.  On my next round with making chocolate sauce I am going to start by increasing the maple syrup to 1 cup and the coconut milk to 1 cup and see where that gets me.

Coconut milk also went well with the blueberry muffins I am currently obsessed with (recipe in Green Market Baking Book), so there you have it.  Long live the coconuts!  Thank you Lord for that creation!

Oh, and if anyone knows if a coconut creamer exists that does not contain added sugar and does not come in a can please let me know!  I have yet to find such a creation.

So Allergy Nemeses, We Meet Again!

It was a great year and a half being able to have any food I wanted.  Alas, the tides have turned.  I was in a bike accident a few months ago -- don't take a sharp turn at 30 MPH going downhill on a bike -- and had my arm in a sling for a few weeks.  In addition, when my head hit the ground -- a helmet takes in a tremendous amount of impact, seriously, wear it! -- I messed up my vision so that if I intentionally focus both eyes I see double.  I'm still working on that.  Anyways, over time I found wheat and sugar were making my symptoms increasingly worse and eventually resulted in migraines.  And then, I realized that dairy was creating headaches and other allergic reactions.  And with all of my sensitivities worsening and developing allergies I had to cut the high tolerance groups.  So I am completely off: wheat, sugar, eggs, nuts, dairy, yeast, and alcohol.  An average person would say what food is left?  I say, a whole lot!  I enjoy a good culinary challenge but I know the frustrations ahead and I am trying not to dread them.

The biggest challenge is reacquainting myself with a dairy free life.  Dairy was originally the first offending food I could add back in my diet 2 years ago.  And I love cheese and whole milk and ice cream (though, my usual kinds are already dairy free).  I'm going to really miss those, you just can't remake the flavor and texture of hard-core dairy food! And then there is the question of soy intake.  I generally don't use it, not because of an intolerance, but because the high controversy and I don't really favor the taste in most products.  However, most dairy alternatives are saturated in soy.

Being on full restriction is a lot different this time.  For one, I know how to manage it and can skip the dear-in-head-lights phase.  And, this time I have multiple friends who know the allergy life and some of them are roommates!  It's so different to have a community and be able to compare notes in person and not be the only one.  Plus alternative and allergy friendly cafes are in greater abundance in Seattle.

It's been two days since I've been completely off dairy and I feel great.  I'm still sorting out and exploring what dairy-free alternatives to go back to but it will come together.  This week I experimented with roasted chickpeas (recipe here: http://www.wholeliving.com/130298/roasted-spiced-chickpeas).  The person who invented these is a genius.  I also played around with making apple chips.  The recipe I was originally looking at wanted me to bake the apples in the oven for 6 hours -- monopolizing the oven for several hours with six other roommates is not an option -- or to use a dehydrator -- which I do not have the money for.  So I compared some similar recipes and devised my own and added some spices (recipe below).  Not exactly foods that require conversion, but they were amazing.  I left no survivors.

Flying Apron is the best cafe ever -- http://flyingapron.com/

----
Apple Chips Recipe
    1.    Core and slice apples (I just used Gala) with a mandolin slicer -- you want the pieces to be super thin.
    2.    In bowl whisk desired amount of cinnamon and maple sugar together.
    3.    Lightly coat each apple slice by dipping it in the bowl.
    4.    Lay apple slices on cookie sheet.  They don't need to be super spaced out, but make sure they do not overlap.
    5.    Lightly drizzle honey over slices.  Be careful not to douse them or they will be soggy.
    6.    Put in oven on 250˚F for at least an hour and a half or until crisp.

Overdue update!

By the grace of God, my health is stable!  If I miss a supplement (though, it is not a good idea) or have food on the restricted list for a few days, I'll be fine.  The effects will not be detrimental or debilitating!  I wanted to write this post a month ago, but I really have no good excuse, so pardon my randomness approach as I try to articulate the changes that have come:

five meals -- Somewhere along the line Americans established three meals a day -- breakfast, lunch, and dinner -- even though it is better to have five (or, 3 meals plus 2 snacks about 3 hours in-between meals).  The way it was explained to me is that it has something to do with stabilizing metabolism and blood sugar.  Once your body is already hungry, the damage is done.  Without eating for so long, the body releases stress hormones and can create feelings of irritability, tiredness, inability to focus, and other unpleasant sensations. Granted, sometimes I feel odd needing meals/snacks at five points in the day when many people out there barely have one...this change was a drastic improvement.

liver -- At the beginning of last month my body was showing different signs of instability.  I prayed that God would help take this tip of a downward spiral away before it nose dived.  Later that week, I randomly looked up the property of artichokes -- a food I never cared for that much.  Turns out they help to detoxify the liver.  The functioning of my liver had been in question for a while.  It was immediately apparent that this green veggie drains my liver like crazy, in turn granting greater focus and energy as well as needing less sleep.  Feeling it drain is a weird painless sensation -- kind of like squishing sturdy jello through a small hole -- but I'm glad it's working now.

acupuncture -- I hate needles!  But acupuncture is amazing.  My ND suggested this to provide a treatment that wouldn't involve yet another lifestyle change.  Through it, my gut is totally relaxed and, let's just say, I can feel it move a lot of junk through.  However, the cost is high!  To do the recommended treatment, my medical bills would seriously double -- if you know what that number is against my income, it's enough to make your jaw drop.  So, I had to decline further treatment.  But I knew if this was a crucial treatment that God would somehow provide a way.  I prayed and, long story short, she offered me an immense and gracious sliding scale -- which at my first appointment was not an option.  Granted going once a month is different from the prescribed three times a week, the difference is worth it.

"And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.” Matthew 21:22

Social Pleasures

At first regulating sugar to every 3-4 days was going great.  I was simply grateful to have it again.  Period.  And then vacation came.  And, I was careful to stop myself when I was nearing too much and only had it when out of the house.  However, the trouble began after.  I kept reaching for sugar.  Justifying my reaches.  The consequence was weeks of feeling like crap again.  I was tired.  I was constantly distracted by anything and everything.  Needless to say, I started to grow frustrated at the things I knew I should be doing but could not find the energy or focus for.  I wasn't able to spend time writing.  My devotions were suffering. I was getting through fewer and fewer books.  Letters and emails fell through.  After a month I finally found the courage within me somewhere to stop, accepting the truth that too much sugar is often a catalyst for regret and iniquity.  It's not worth the cost; but alas, it is so easy to reach for.  So easy to apply false excuses to.

I prayed for wisdom, and basically the contents of Matthew 5:30 revealed to me that I need to keep sugar out of the house and not have it at work either (unless there is a special occasion).  And then if I go to friend's house who is offering some sort of sugar substance, fine -- as long as I am keeping to the prescribed intake of once every 3-4 days.  If I want ice cream, JP Licks and Coldstone are very close.  I can save the cool coffees for times I am out with friends.  Potlucks, great!  The rare restaurant outing, fantastic!  But on a day to day basis, the answer is no.  No more sugar.  I know I can live without it.  I've done it for over seven months.  Sugar is now a social thing -- like alcohol once was. (Plus the less I have on my own will, the more I can have when socializing!)  I don't need it, but it's nice to have once in a while -- especially when it breaks the food barrier of isolation I know so very well.

Now that I'm past the sugar withdrawal -- intense cravings, headaches, etc. -- I feel great!  I'm clean!  And it's actually a lot easier to say no.  You don't really crave it very much once it's completely out of the system.  However, with it being Thanksgiving, my birthday, Christmas and all those activities in between coming up, it's going to be interesting juggling my sugar intake - especially on the weeks with 3+ events that involve food. Kind of regretting the two cartons of ice cream in my freezer...they may have to stay in there for a while.  The great thing about the freezer, though, is that if I do have sugar and I can freeze it, I can't use the excuse oh, it will go bad so I need to eat it now and I won't see it all the time as a reminder of eat me, I taste so amazing.  No, keep eating me; you know you want more of me. Hey look, I've moved myself closer to you.

This week I decided to deep clean my room and I found a note I wrote when I first had to give up sugar pretty much cold turkey (as well as natural sugars and was only allowed 2 pieces of fruit per day max).  I said I was feeling so much better now that my body was being cleansed from sugar.  But I found myself staring at sugar-containing products, from cookies to sauces and salsas.  I was hoping the allergy test was wrong about sugar -- though it was the most accurate one.  I tried sugar again and needless to say, it was not fun.  After one gram I had to fight to stay awake and be functional.  My only fix was a dosage of Benedryl -- not a cure-all, but a big help.  I wanted sugar so bad I contemplated putting up with exhaustion, headaches, and fragmented thought processes again.  It's hard to believe how food is a such a stronghold...  It's wonderful to not be controlled by it any more!

Go forth in determination!

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." - 1 Cor 10:13